Chantel the Heifer is the Head Priestess of the Cult of the Hay Ring at TAU. She achieved her senior role through ritual combat around the sacred aluminum hay ring against other, (often unwilling or fleeing), incumbents, and she continues to dominate any cow she feels is sacrilegiously hogging the hay. Her primary duty is presiding over the Festival of the Hay Tractor, wherein hungry cows race alongside the revered New Holland tractor that carries the “Bale of Life”, culminating in placement of the bale within the hallowed precincts of the hay ring for all to enjoy. The festival is generally followed by a holy feast of coastal hay for all attendees. Adherents may view this TAU Animal of the Week daily as she proudly leads her handler by the halter around the TAU premises at the head of her personal procession of adoring acolytes.